Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
