Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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