nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize