Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
