WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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