The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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