Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i came on her dog
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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