make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
