dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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