My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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