we have officially lost it.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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