Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
