Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
