Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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