so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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