So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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