what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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