I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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