I love black thongs
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
