It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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