dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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