Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
