Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
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Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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