I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize