I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I cockslap morals
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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