he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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