I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize