He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
