I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
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I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
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i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear