there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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