Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
