I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
