i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize