I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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