GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
handjob tips. give me some.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
