ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize