another moral hangover. fuck.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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