she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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