I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
