Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
