I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Bring me that man meat
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
