omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
