her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
