Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
