How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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