dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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