i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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