I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
how does that bad decision feel?
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