Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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