So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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