Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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