And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
