Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Panties = found
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
