summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
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judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
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Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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